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Welcome to the website of Betsy Schow, author of Finished being Fat as profiled on the TODAY Show and Wall Street Journal. Read what I’m up to now by clicking on the blog links, Finished being Fat or Heaven’s to Betsy. Be sure to start making your goals the right way and check out my NEW YEAR GOAL POST. Then see the first step in keeping them, No Turning Back. 

One of things I hear most, when I am at signings or speaking to people about my book: “What does ‘Finished being Fat’ even mean? Just because you are skinnier now you can say that? That’s a pretty bold statement.”

Little known fact, the book was originally titled “Philosophy of Finishing” but that apparently lacked a certain wow factor, so the marketing higher ups sacrificed that title in favor of a zippier one. One of the suggestions was the title of my blog, you guessed it, Finished being Fat. The title for the blog came from my desire, not to whittle my waistline – I had done that already – but to stop being fat for good, in here (tapping my noggin, even though no one but me and the dog can see it).

I was fat. Huge. Ginormous. Not because of the number embroidered on the tag of my jeans, but because it consumed a large part of my thoughts and day. It very nearly destroyed my marriage. So much of my life revolved around gaining weight, losing weight, BMI, whether I was pretty enough, smaller than my husband’s secretary, or whether I would squish Santa if I sat on his lap. Yes, I was fat.

But so are many others. That size two gym bunny, staring at herself in the mirror and pinching her nonexistant saddlebag — fat. At least in her own head. Obesity is an epidemic, but so if this unquenchable drive to be better, thinner, than the woman standing next to us. Even if that woman is just me, looking back from the mirror.

fathead

This is a PSA for Body Dysmorphic Disorder. But this is also what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Sometimes even as I was losing weight. I couldn’t see past my own judgments for fear that someone else’s would be even worse.

And that, is what Finished being Fat is and means. That is why FbF is not a diet book, or a weight loss book. It’s my story, my quest to change the way I looked at my life and myself. How everything became different when I learned the Philosophy of Finishing, and could give that girl in the mirror a hug and say, “I love you at any size and you can be anything you want to be.”

Someday I might get these folds of skin taken off my belly. Or I might keep using them to tuck in loose change. Who knows, my metabolism might take a nosedive and I may very well once again find myself naked, in the bathroom, on the tile, ten pounds heavier than last month. (opening scene of FbF) But none of those things will invalidate my journey or my words. Because it’s a conscious choice I have to make, to see myself differently. To say I am finished being fat. At any size.

And most days, I succeed.

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3 thoughts on “Home

  1. Sandra Schuette

    I just finished reading FBF and it was interesting and encouraging to me. It was a great story of development and I think you are a good writer. I have to agree with the marketers, as I picked up the book because of the title and got so much more than I bargained for. I like the idea of making a budget and trying to live under it to control weight. That makes sense to me.

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  2. Kristin

    I found your book at the library yesterday by accident. I started reading it at 8:00 last night. I finished at midnight. Your book was such an inspiration to me. Sounds like we lived parallel childhoods. I too was introduced to the idea that something was wrong with me when I got on a scale while being enrolled for 5th grade. “120 pounds that’s how much I weigh.”, said one of the teachers there. How can a child weigh as much as an adult?
    I still am paralyzed by the thought of choosing a resuraunt for fear of picking the wrong one. I don’t want to be responsible for making a “wrong choice”. I have gotten so used to everyone else making decisions for me that I don’t know truly what I like or what I want to do.
    Your book has encouraged me to “Shut up and do something!”.
    Thank you so much and I hope you are doing well.

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