No Turning Back

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Some people are born without fear. They can charge towards something without a second thought.

I am NOT one of those people.

Don’t get me wrong, I still finish whatever I start. But that doesn’t mean when I’m about to climb a mountain (real or metaphorical), I don’t stand at the bottom and get vertigo seeing how far away the top is.

mountain

 

If I want to get up that mountain, I’ll do a gut check and realize that the distance is really just an accumulation of steps.  “I can do steps,” I’ll tell myself. “I can break it down and make it 300 ft to that rock.” After I get to that rock then I figure, “I can make it 500 ft to that tree.”

Before I know it, I’m half way. But I’m tired. More likely than not I have a few blisters and the path down is looking pretty good because I don’t want to take another step. Here’s a secret though…

Running away and quitting in the middle has just as many steps back down as going forward to the top. And there’s no way I hauled my butt up half a mountain just to pack in my trail mix. So as long as I can keep moving, it’s going to be up.

One of the keys to fighting fear is making a commitment that there’s no turning back. Because as long as I see heading back down as an option, I’ll keep nervously looking over my shoulder at the possible way out. Once I choose to take away that option, something miraculous happens: peace. Peace and determination that all I have to do or think about is taking those steps forward.

Whether its easy, hard, slow or fast — doesn’t matter. Just get there and enjoy the view from the top. It’s much better than the one from the bottom.

climbingmountains

Making goals that stick – any day of the year

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Happy day after new year! I felt the need to make a resolution post on any day BUT New Years. There is a point to that, besides non conformity. You see, you can make goals and changes in your life at any given time, not some arbitrary day. No excuses of “Oh, I missed it. Maybe next year.” BZZZZ. Wrong. Start today. Start next week or month. Just start and know that you can finish. And I’m gonna help.Starting Line

So Step One of making a successful goal resolution etc . . . Create ACTION SPECIFIC GOALS. Word what you want to do as opposed to what you want to happen.

Example of what not to do. “I’m going to lose 50 lbs this year.”

That is a result. And it’s outside of your control. Your body may not be able to drop that weight due to medical conditions of other factors out of your control. So if you only lose 30 are you a failure?

Try this instead. Same idea, just stating what you’ll DO.

“I’m going to be healthier this year by exercising daily and controlling my portions.” (eating more veggies, counting calories– whatever you want to alter in your eating habits. Eat less move more concept.)

The above is a goal you can take a day at a time and succeed every single time.  You control what you do, the actions you take.  Weight loss might be a happy bi-product of these actions, but your success of a goal doesn’t hinge on something you can’t control.

Some people might say, “Well, aren’t those two goals the same thing?”

Kind of, but the approach and how you look at it are different. Some of the best things in life were already there, but all we need is a little shift in perception to see it.

Upside Down Boy

Before I became a finisher, I would make lofty goals and some cockamamy plan to get there. “I’m going to be a size 2 by summer.” Or “Get my dream job.” I’d bust my hump for a month or two, but the results that I thought I should have, the ones I’d set in my goals weren’t happening for me. So I gave up, gained back the 30 pounds and stopped trying to writing a book. Then I spent the rest of the year feeling like a loser that couldn’t do anything.

Now I lament those years I wasted. I made my expectations and goals based on things outside my control. They were dependent on luck, someone else’s whims and biology. Instead of wallowing in the shame spiral or blaming my failures on the things outside my influence, I needed to shift my goals on the changes I could make.

Everyone has dreams. Things they want to happen. Those are good and we should work towards those things in the GOALS we make. Some day I want to have a best selling smash hit novel. So that’s my want. Now I’m going to make goals to help me get there. I can’t have great book that everyone loves if I don’t write a book that I love. So this year I’m going to write the best possible book that I can. One that I love. That’s a goal I can absolutely finish if I put the time, effort, and love into. What happens after THE END is out of my control. But I will have successfully completed my goal for the year that gets me closer to my want. My DREAM.

So when you are ready, figure out what you WANT in life. It’s not set in stone, it can change. Then figure out some of the actions you need to take to get there. GOALS completely within your control. Then make that promise to yourself, and do what you set out in that goal.

I may get my dream this year, or next, or a decade from now. But that isn’t the point. As long as I keep walking forward, doing the best that I can, I keep piling these successes up.

I keep becoming a better and happier person.

And THAT dear friends, is the entire point in this marathon we call life, isn’t it?